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The mystery of Matt Gaetz’s secret adult son
Want to know a quick and easy way to prove to the world that you are definitely not a racist? Simply reveal the existence of your hitherto secret 19-year-old Cuban-born son.
On Thursday, Florida congressman Matt Gaetz, 38, caused something of a stir when he tweeted a selfie of himself and a young man. “[T]his is my son Nestor,” the Republican lawmaker announced. “We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.”
Gaetz’s big reveal was prompted by an argument with Cedric Richmond, a black congressman, during a hearing on police reform. Richmond pleaded with his white colleagues not to “make a mockery of the pain that exists in my community”, pointing out that they didn’t know what it was like to raise a black son in the US. This outraged Gaetz, who responded by demanding whether Richmond was “certain that none of us have non-white children?” The next day he smugly trotted out Nestor like the ultimate “gotcha!”, and paraded his son on Fox News.
Using your brown son as “proof” that you understand the black experience is despicable. It’s taking “but I have a friend who is black!” to the next level. That said, many of the responses to Gaetz’s revelation were also pretty grim. Conspiracy theories began to swirl: was Nestor actually Gaetz’s lover? Had the congressman trafficked him from Cuba? Internet detectives quickly went to work: it didn’t take long before old photos and videos were unearthed in which the congressman refers to Nestor as a “local student” and his “helper”. The conspiracy theories escalated.
Gaetz explained to People Magazine on Thursday that he never formally adopted Nestor but that he met Nestor when the boy was 12 and his mother had died of breast cancer. Gaetz says he was dating Nestor’s older sister at the time and they formed a “modern family”. Except for a short break after Gaetz and Nestor’s sister broke up, the pair have basically been living with each other for the last six years. Gaetz has declined to discuss Nestor’s relationship with his biological family.
It’s understandable that people have questions: Gaetz kept Nestor a secret for six years (which the congressman said was to protect him from public scrutiny) and is now being fuzzy about the logistics of their relationship. However, that doesn’t excuse the homophobic conspiracy theories that immediately began to swirl. Which raises the question: why does it seem easier for some people to believe that Gaetz is a pedophile or a human trafficker rather than just a man who took a teenage boy under his wing and lovingly raised him as his own?
Well, for one thing, Gaetz is a Trump cheerleader who has attacked Hunter Biden’s substance abuse problems, for example, even though he himself has been arrested on suspicion of driving while under the influence. And in March he made light of the coronavirus pandemic when he wore a gas mask to vote on a funding plan for the pandemic. There’s also a GQ interview in which he makes fun of a Cuban girl he was dating, and mimics her accent. Warm and fuzzy Gaetz is not.
The widespread mockery and suspicion of Gaetz’s relationship with Nestor isn’t just due to the congressman’s personality, however; it reflects sexist assumptions about parenthood. If Gaetz had been a woman, I doubt people would have questioned his relationship to Nestor quite so much. Women are expected to have strong maternal instincts – but we barely talk about paternal instincts. Women are expected to adore children, but society is automatically suspicious of a man who is fond of kids. A woman smiling at small children in the street? Totally natural. A man smiling at small children in the street? Call the police!
Gaetz will never understand what it’s like to be a black man in America. However, he now has the opportunity to help people – not least his fellow Republicans –understand that “family” comes in many forms and that a single man is more than capable of having paternal instincts and being a good dad. Parenthood is supposed to change people; let’s hope publicly acknowledging Nestor changes Gaetz for the better.
Romanians protest against gender studies ban
On Thursdays dozens of activists gathered in Bucharest to protest legislation banning the teaching of gender studies in Romania’s schools and universities. Neighbouring Hungary passed similar legislation in 2018. It’s weird how conservatives love calling liberals snowflakes but are triggered by people reading Judith Butler.
The supreme court protects LGBT workers against discrimination
As Moira Donegan notes, Monday’s decision was a “rare bit of good news” for LGBTQ Americans, who are rapidly losing faith in the Republican-dominated court. More good news followed on Thursday, when the supreme court rejected Trump’s bid to end a program protecting undocumented immigrants who were brought to America as children.
Tennessee passes strict six-week abortion ban
Opponents of the ban, which passed in the early hours of Friday, have said they will challenge it in court.
Chris D’Elia accused of harassing underage girls
The actor and comedian features on the Netflix series You, in which he plays Henderson, a celebrity who abuses young girls. A growing number of women are now alleging this was very much a case of art imitating life, and claim D’Elia harassed them online while they were underage. D’Elia denies this.
Labor of Love: a new reality show where men compete to impregnate a single woman
No, there’s nothing remotely ethical about this. Yes, it’ll probably be a massive hit. Truly, we live in hell.
