In 2022 I was living in Auckland as a 30-year-old single mum to a one-year-old boy. My life revolved around being the best mum I could be, as well as being a therapist in a very emotionally demanding field.
After a year of being single, I felt ready to put myself out there again. I downloaded Tinder and not long after, I matched with Andre.
We sent messages back and forth. Andre told me he had just returned from living in Australia for the last 20 years and was re-establishing his life back home in New Zealand. One of the initial things that attracted me to him was his vulnerability to admit that he felt lonely and was looking for a partner to share his life with.
Over the next couple of days, there was barely a moment we weren’t messaging or speaking on the phone to each other. Eventually we arranged to meet at a cafe.
I arrived first and was somewhat nervous. I’d built up a high expectation based on the connection we shared during our week of messages and phone calls. On paper, Andre was everything I could have wanted in a partner, and I hoped the feeling of connection would also be there in real life.
He walked in a couple of minutes late, in his work uniform, with a big bouquet of flowers. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. From that first moment, I felt completely relaxed, at ease and there was a sense of familiarity and comfort I have never experienced before. It was only a short date – half an hour – but in that time we spoke about work, kids and our hopes and dreams for the future.
The next day, Andre asked if he could take me and my son out for a date, but emphasised if I wasn’t ready for him to meet my son, there was no pressure. He was very respectful. But I didn’t have any hesitations – I felt very safe and comfortable around Andre.
I assumed we would just meet wherever we were going, as I had the child seat in my car, but he told me not to worry about it.
He arrived at our place, early on a Saturday morning, his ute already installed with a child car seat, with snacks packed. He even remembered my favourite bakery and had bought some pastries, including kid-appropriate ones for my boy. He surprised us with a date to an aquarium – my son immediately took to him and gave him massive cuddles throughout the day. When Andre dropped us off, my son hugged him and didn’t want to let go, and even cried when I told him it was time to go. At that moment I knew I had found my husband – and my boy had found his dad.
Andre had always wanted to be a father. Very quickly, we became a family unit, and he became the best father I could have ever imagined for my boy. We started trying for a baby very early in our relationship – our youngest son Royce was born exactly a year after our first date. We could not have asked for a better anniversary present. And shortly after Royce’s arrival, we were married in an intimate ceremony in our back yard.
Andre and I have both experienced difficulties in our lives – and on reflection, meeting each other in our 30s was an absolute blessing. Coming into our marriage, we knew exactly what we wanted and understood the work that was required to maintain a happy and peaceful family life. I know I have hit the jackpot with such a wonderful man and the amazing life that we have created together.
Tell us the moment you knew
Do you have a romantic realisation you’d like to share? From quiet domestic scenes to dramatic revelations, Guardian Australia wants to hear about the moment you knew you were in love.
