Real Madrid v Barcelona: El Clásico – live!

44 min “Coutinho is a different type of player to Iniesta,” says Niall Mullen. “He’s best as a wide forward in a front three. I hope that Barca are not trying to replace their legendary players like for like because they may have a little trouble replacing their number 10 when he eventually goes.”

Quinn, Micky.

41 min Messi is fouled by Ramos, a sly one that probably deserved a yellow card.

39 min: Vital save from Courtois! The excellent Rakitic burst forward in the inside-right channel and played a square pass to Suarez just outside the D. He allowed it to run across his body, beating Varane in the process, before drilling a low left-footed shot that was excellently stopped by Courtois, diving low to his left. Courtois got straight to his feet to grab Messi’s follow-up as well.

39 min “They used to chant ‘Sumo! Sumo!’ for Micky Quinn,” says Niall Mullen. “When they do it for Messi he responds ‘Si, naranja por favor’.”

37 min Messi curls a free-kick a few yards wide from 20 yards. This is looking ominous for Real, with Barcelona starting to pick them off on the counter-attack.

36 min Suarez appeals for a handball by Carvajal in the Real area. The ball did hit his outstretched hand but he was approximately 0.00004 yards away when Suarez lobbed the ball over his shoulder.

35 min “Does anyone who watches Barcelona regularly have thoughts on why Valverde wouldn’t play Coutinho in the middle of the park in the Iniesta role as God and whoever is in charge of transfers at the club have clearly intended?” wonders Phil Podolsky. “Is the all-round contribution of Rakitic and the other one preferable to the attacking genius of the Brazilian? I typed all this before the goal, mind.”

I’d have Rakitic over Coutinho most days. I haven’t seen enough of Arthur to disparage him on the internet, though.

33 min Rakitic plays a clever angled through ball that is just too far in front of Messi. He would have been through on goal.

32 min A Real corner is half cleared by Barcelona to Reguilon, who hammers the bouncing ball just wide from 25 yards. Ter Stegen must have been unsighted because he didn’t move.

31 min Modric wins the ball on the edge of the Barcelona with a storming tackle on Jordi Alba. He springs to his feet and drives a low cross that pinballs around the area before Barcelona clear.

30 min Reguilon dives into the area after a tackle from Arthur. The referee doesn’t buy it.

29 min Bale’s deep cross is put behind for a corner by Lenglet. Comes to nowt.

Rakitic played a short pass out to Sergi Roberto on the right and ran onto the return pass, away from the last defender Ramos. Once he was into the area he sat Courtois down and dinked the ball gently, almost goadingly, over him and into the net.

24 min “If you watch Messi he actually just walks a lot during the game, as we have been told by stats already,” says Ruth Purdue. “But when he comes alive he 25 yards from goal he just bursts into life. A joy to watch. I guess age comes to us all, and he lets everyone else run for him. Genius.”

Micky Quinn did something similar at Coventry.

22 min Vinicius Junior stabs the ball cockily over the sliding Pique and charges down the left. He gets into the area and cuts the ball back to Benzema, who moves it on to Modric. He dummies to pass and then hits a low shot from 15 yards that is kicked away on the six-yard line by Pique, who seconds earlier had been put on his backside on the left wing by Vinicius.

19 min: Messi misses a good chance! Suarez lobbed a loose ball over the defence to Messi, who took it down with his chest, or maybe his right bicep, and moved into the area. As Courtois came out, Messi lobbed the ball over him with the outside of his left foot, but he got too much on it and it drifted past the far post.

19 min This is a good spell from Barcelona, who are into their stride after a fairly slow start. Messi looks particularly dangerous.

17 min Carvajal tries to kick Messi and ends up on his arse.

16 min Vinicius beats a couple of defenders with ease but overhits his through pass to Bale. That was a chance for Real.

15 min Courtois makes a brilliant save from Suarez’s vicious hit, although it wouldn’t have counted because of an offside in the build-up.

14 min A ludicrous 60-yard pass from Messi releases Dembele, whose first-time cross is put behind for a corner.

13 min Varane’s fierce shot on the turn is blocked by Lenglet and rebounds to Kroos, whose deflected long-range shot is well held by ter Stegen.

11 min A good move from Barcelona. Messi combines with Jordi Alba and finds Dembele. He plays a cute reverse pass to release Jordi Alba, whose driven cross is put behind for a corner. It’s played short and eventually slid into the area towards Rakitic, who goes down hoping for a penalty. The referee isn’t interested.

10 min Reguilon plays a sharp pass into Benzema, who wriggles away from Lenglet on the edge of the area before dragging a left-footed shot well wide of the far post.

9 min Nothing to report in the last few minutes. Real look bright and busy in possession.

5 min A lazy, ill-conceived flick from Casemiro is intercepted by Rakitic, who shovels the ball forward to Messi. He slides a through pass towards Suarez, and Varane comes between Suarez and Courtois to concede a corner.

4 min It’s been a good start from Real, who are pressing with intent when they don’t have the ball.

2 min Modric nicks the ball off Busquets near the halfway line and finds Kroos. He surges to within 20 yards of goal before being taken down by Busquets, who is booked.

1 min Peep peep peep! Barcelona get the match under way, kicking from right to left if you like to picture these things.

The Eleven Sports coverage is, erm, eccentric. They keep going to a break at random moments and flipping between commentary in English and Spanish.

The players are in the tunnel. Luis Suarez is stting on the stairs, looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

The bottom team Huesca have beaten Sevilla 2-1, with Ezequiel Avila scoring the winner in the eighth minute of injury time.

Gareth Bale starts for Real Madrid, which is good news for this Barney Ronay article.

Real Madrid (4-1-2-3) Courtois; Carvajal, Varane, Ramos, Reguilon; Casemiro; Modric, Kroos; Bale, Benzema, Vinicius.
Substitutes: Navas, Marcelo, Valverde, Vazquez, Asensio, Isco, Ceballos.

Barcelona (4-1-2-3) ter Stegen; Roberto, Pique, Lenglet, Alba; Busquets; Arthur, Rakitic; Messi, Suarez, Dembele.
Substitutes: Cillessen, Umtiti, Semedo, Vidal, Alena, Coutinho, Malcom.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. But let’s be honest, it tastes good at any temperature. Real Madrid certainly wouldn’t say no to a piping-hot dish tonight. This clasico is an instant chance to avenge that strange hammering in the Copa del Rey semi-final on Wednesday, when they played very well yet lost 3-0.

Luis Suarez, who has taken over from Lionel Messi as Madrid’s chief pain in the derriere, scored twice in that game to go with a hat-trick in the season’s first clasico, when Barcelona plugged Real 5-1 in October. Real’s defenders must be thrilled to be facing those two again so soon after Wednesday.

Real are nine points behind Barcelona with 13 games remaining, so a point is of precisely no use to them. They need three points to stay in the title race – and revenge, with all the trimmings, to redeem their souls.

Kick off is at 8.45pm in Madrid, 7.45pm in London, and whatever time that is wherever you are.