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Poolman finally learned how to keep its head above water. Yes, the critically panned film flop surprisingly rose to No. 1 on 
Hulu after debuting Friday, Nov. 8 on the streaming service. The ranking was one of the few bright spots first-time director Chris Pine could hang his hat on after his directorial debut disappointed the vast majority of critics and audiences alike.
The reviews have been scathing to say the least, which led to the “comedic” mystery movie receiving a paltry 21% on the Tomatometer against 57 reviews posted to Rotten Tomatoes. And Steve Rose of The Guardian was particularly harsh on Pine’s first go-round behind the camera, scoring the flick only 1/5. Rose wrote in his review:
“Chris Pine is usually a likable screen presence but he’s let down here by a flimsy script and over-indulgent direction — which could have something to do with the co-screenwriter (Chris Pine) and the first-time director (er, Chris Pine).”
Likewise, viewers have started taking their own shots at the drowning Poolman now that the film is available on streaming. At the time of this writing, there are less than 50 verified ratings posted to RT. However, Pine’s first at-bat as director only registers 20% on the Popcornmeter, formerly the audience score. And one user, Joshua S., stopped watching the movie after only 35 minutes! Joshua’s assessment reads as follows (per Rotten Tomatoes):
“I feel a bit guilty writing this review as I didn’t have the patience to sit through more than 35 minutes of the movie. I stopped watching because I had listened to 30 minutes of nonsensical, self-indulgent dialogue and had no clue if a plot was ever going to be revealed. It was boring, annoying, and slow.”
Chris Pine Defends His ‘F*cking Panned’ Directorial Debut
Poolman’s world premiere took place back in September 2024 at the Toronto International Film Festival, and Chris Pine’s directorial debut has been bombarded with terrible reviews and horrible online word of mouth ever since. Nevertheless, the former Captain of the Enterprise defended his pride and joy despite the negativity surrounding the film. Pine said during an interview while appearing on the Happy Sad Confused podcast:
“When the film came out at Toronto and just got f*cking panned, it was like… I guess I wasn’t totally surprised because even in making it I was like, ‘Well, God.’ I wanted to make a joyful film that I thought very much… I was not trying to make some sort of niche film […] But with so much joy behind it, to then be met with this cavalcade… you know, this fuselage of not so joyous stuff was like, ‘Oh my God!’ So, the cognitive dissonance there was quite something.”
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The all-star cast featured not only Pine, but Danny DeVito, Ariana DeBose, Annette Bening, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Groundhog Day’s own Stephen Tobolowsky appeared in Poolman. However, it was co-star DeWanda Wise who came to her director’s aid in an exclusive interview with MovieWeb. Wise said:
“I am president of the Chris Pine fan club, shoutout to Chris. He was extraordinarily specific. There are projects you work on like this that are very collaborative, you kind of like do your own thing and you kind of play around. The thing about Poolman is: We were playing in such a specific genre.
It’s a genre I love. I’m obsessed with film noir. I always have been. I grew up on film noir. I trained as an actor in film noir, randomly, so I know the conceits in my body. I know how to find the light. I know everything about it. And being directed by him with that degree of both technical and emotional proficiency. I just relished it. I loved it so much.”
Poolman is now streaming on Hulu, but there isn’t any question 44-year-old Chris Pine was a still a little wet behind the ears to have given up the U.S.S. Enterprise’s captain’s seat for the directing chair. However, Pine’s heart was clearly in the right place, and there is no reason to write the talented actor off yet as a possible auteur in the future. Don’t forget, George Lucas’ first film, THX 1138 (1971), was an epic flop before the acclaimed filmmaker went on to take audiences to that glorious galaxy far, far away… and beyond.
- Runtime
- 100 Minutes
- Distributor(s)
- Vertical Entertainment
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