I LOVE the hustle of Christmas, the lack of routine and the hope that a fresh start brings.
I try to spend the time being more “present” than maybe I can be day-to-day, enjoying the bickering over Monopoly or siblings squabbling over the bunkbeds.
I treasure these moments as I know the crazy, family days will soon be replaced with our daily drills.
I spent most of my Christmas in comfy joggers to allow for the year’s worth of food I consumed, and in our days we practised the perfect level of chill.
Social media would allow you to think that the rest of the world had had a make-up artist pop round and they were strutting around their Nanny Pat’s house in high heels and a bustier.
I think I took three photos and I looked like Shrek, but I was happy.
I felt like I needed a “good one” for my Instagram to show my Christmas, but why and for who?
I ended up posting one of those three photos a few days after. I look awful but it was real.
As soon as Boxing Day was done, there was the onslaught of “top nine from 2019” photos, the 2010 versus now pics, the show reels and the “what I’ve learnt” passages.
If you are feeling content right now, it can feel good to take a trip down memory lane, but for those who are not feeling their most confident or happy, it’s hard being bombarded with such posts.
It can feel heavy and easier to forget that what other people post is only their “best bits”.
You start comparing your decade and your year to theirs, despite only seeing a snapshot of it.
I will say I did the top-nine photo thing and when I look at those nine images they do not sum up my 2019 in real life.
My year was horrid. It tested my physical and mental health, my family and my happiness.
‘I’M PAST THAT BIT’
But none of this is visible in that square.
I also had a little peruse back at my 2010 photos, hoping to see an image staring back at me that made me feel like “thank God I’m past that bit” but honestly I looked fun, tanned and young.
Right now I look tired and pale and more weathered than sun-kissed.
But would I swap then for now?
STEP UP
Bloke creates a man cave in the cupboard under his stairs complete with a giant TV
I met Mark at the end of that year and since then I got married, had three more babies, travelled all over and have had some of the highest highs as well as lowest lows.
Sure, I look a little more bedraggled and get less sleep now but I have a lot more in my life and a lot more love than in that picture of me doing the splits in a bar in Ibiza.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I did that too. It’s all part of me.
