Parenting

Mum who became incontinent after giving birth to daughter hid it from husband for years


A MUM who became incontinent after giving birth to her daughter has bravely opened up about ‘living in a constant state of embarrassment’ that forced her to hide the condition from her husband.

Kelly-Anne Combes, 32, felt so humiliated about her bladder weakness that she kept it a secret for more than a year.

 Kelly-Anne kept her condition hidden from friends and family for more than a year

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Kelly-Anne kept her condition hidden from friends and family for more than a year

The writer from King’s Lynn, Norfolk, would find wet herself repeatedly throughout the day, even in public and in social situations, and compared her struggle with having to ‘potty train’ herself.

Things were so bad that Kelly-Anne would have to take spare clothes with her whenever she went out, frequently having to change – but she suffered this all in silence.

She told the Mirror Online: “I didn’t tell my husband. I couldn’t face telling my friends either. I just made constant excuses as to why I couldn’t go out or see them. I was just so mortified.”

Initially, the mother-of-one thought that the incontinence was just a normal reaction to childbirth and confided in her mum – the only person she felt comfortable talking to about the issue.

 She compared her struggle as having to 'potty train' herself as he often 'leaked' in public

Mirrorpix

She compared her struggle as having to ‘potty train’ herself as he often ‘leaked’ in public

But weeks after childbirth, Kelly-Anne was mortified to find that what first had been just a trickle had turned into a ‘heavy leak’.

“I ignored it, sweeping it under the carpet as I couldn’t admit that I would have this issue,” she explained. “I had heard of middle-aged women experiencing it but not someone my age – I found it embarrassing.”

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Quickly finding her social life ruined by the strain of her condition, Kelly-Anne’s relationship with her husband, 30, who wanted to remain anonymous, was being put under pressure.

Anxious and ashamed, Kelly had stopped going out, seeing friends and distanced herself from her hubby – ending up in total isolation as a way to cope.

 Anxious and ashamed, Kelly-Anne did not tell her husband until they went on holiday more than a year after she gave birth

Mirrorpix

Anxious and ashamed, Kelly-Anne did not tell her husband until they went on holiday more than a year after she gave birth

After more than a year of shirking the issue and making excuses for accidents, she was forced to tell her husband of her plight during their family holiday in August 2015.

While the pair played football with daughter Amelia on the beach, Kelly-Anne jumped up only to find it had caused a leak.

She said: “I had to tell him because I really needed to go back to the apartment to get change. I said: ‘This has been happening for a while now’ – he didn’t really know what to say.”

After returning home, Kelly-Anne saw a doctor and was referred to a specialist who explained that pregnancy and childbirth had weakened her bladder, leading to urinary incontinence.

Urinary incontinence after childbirth

Millions of women suffer with incontinence after giving birth, some for only months but others for years after. 

Vaginal births increase the risk of incontinence as pelvic nerves and muscles can be injured or bruised.

Similarly, pressure from pregnancy can cause weaking and/or damage to the pelvic floor muscles and urethral sphincter, which control urination.

And it’s remarkably common – research has shown that between one and two thirds of women will experience it in their first year after giving birth.

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There are four types of incontincence:

  • stress incontinence– when urine leaks out at times when your bladder is under pressure; for example, when you cough or laugh
  • urge incontinence– when urine leaks as you feel a sudden, intense urge to pass urine, or soon afterwards
  • overflow incontinence (chronic urinary retention) – when you’re unable to fully empty your bladder, which causes frequent leaking
  • total incontinence– when your bladder can’t store any urine at all, which causes you to pass urine constantly or have frequent leaking

In order to help her recover, she was given a pair of shorts with electro muscle stimulation technology which strengthen the pelvic floor muscle – and she has now been using the shorts for around three months.

She puts ‘getting her life back’ and boosted confidence down to the innovative fashion statement, as she has returned to mingling with friends and going out, as well as letting go of all her embarrassment around the issue.

A third of women suffer from incontinence in the first three months after childbirth, recent statistic show, and Kelly-Anne wants to make sure other mother’s don’t feel alone about it.

She said: “Nobody should feel that they need to suffer in silence and be too embarrassed to seek help like I was. There are so many women out there who have been through the same thing.”

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