What etiquette rules do you think people should follow in the theatre? (Image: Getty)
I’ve been a big theatre-goer for as long as I can remember. It all started with musicals, and we can blame my mum for that (I’ve seen her favourite, Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat, at least 15 times over the years….). But since moving to London some 15 years ago, I love trying out anything new, from plays to ballet – although I’ve not yet tried the opera.
Theatre has become so much more accessible during this time, and I’ve found myself well-versed in working out the best seats for the best values, making sure I can go to as many shows a year without paying some of the eye-watering costs.
This year alone I’ve ticked off several productions off my list (including The Great Gatsby on Broadway, Inside No 9, If/?Then, The Years, Richard II, Unicorn, Dear England for the second time, and The Great Gatsby on the West End this time to name but a few) with several more lined up in my packed calendar.
As a lifelong arts lover, I’ve seen many different types of shows with several different audiences. I still vividly remember walking out of Kit Harrington’s Doctor Faustus in 2016, completely spoiled by audience members around me calling out “You know nothing, Jon Snow” at regular intervals…
So here are my three biggest theatre etiquette tips on how not to completely ruin the show for everyone else.
Put your phone away
In a darkly lit room with a big focus on the importance of lighting, whipping out your phone and your home screen lighting up the underside of your face as if you’re about to tell a ghost story is always going to be a distraction. It’s also just plain rude; to those on stage who have studied their craft, learned their lines, practised their choreography and rehearsed endlessly for their moment in the spotlight, but also to your fellow audience members.
Last night at a concert – which I understand is a little different as people tend to want to record parts of the set, although it was a bit jarring in a wholly seated concert rather than filming from a mosh pit – I spent much of the last hour distracted by a man in my peripheral vision who was quite clearly scrolling through Facebook. Occasionally, he’d put his phone away, and I’d settle back to enjoy the music, but every few minutes he’d whip it out again.
I only knew because of where he was sat, slumped in his chair in a box to the right-hand side of my view of the stage. Because of where he was positioned on his seat, every time he unlocked his phone, it lit up all the reflective walls around him like a little mini spotlight on this bored, uninterested chap.
And obviously, make sure your phone is off, on silent, or on do not disturb. I know it shouldn’t have to be said, but too many times have I been in an audience with a continuous buzz of a phone left on vibrate or, sometimes, even a blatant ringtone blaring out as an embarrassed audience member fumbles through their bag.
Save it for the car ride home
Speaking of unwanted noise… We’re here for the highly skilled performers we’ve all paid a great deal of money to listen to, not to hear your off-key rendition of ‘Phantom of the Opera’.
Of course, there are some shows where singing along is entirely appropriate, or the performers will throw it out to the audience to join in. But other than that, we just need to hear it. It’s incredibly distracting hearing the song coming from behind you, even when it’s whispered.
I know you adore the songs; I do, too. When I drive back to my hometown to visit my family, I love nothing more than putting on my Spotify ‘Best musicals and show tunes’ playlist on full and belting out Dear Evan Hansen’s Waving Through A Window. But me in my car with the windows down on a sunny day, cruising along the M3 versus you singing at the back of my head in the Sondheim is a little bit different.
And don’t get me started about people having full-blown, albeit hushed, conversations in the middle of a play…
Drunk and disorderly
Don’t be the group of women I was sitting behind for & Juliet, with a bag of clinking cans and bottles after clearly having a skinfull before getting to their seats. Now it might have been one of the more lighthearted musicals with a generally relaxed atmosphere, but perhaps not so laidback that three women standing up to belt out the Backstreet Boys…
But it’s not the singing that is often the real issue with drunk audience members. It’s the constant climbing out of their seats to use the restrooms, coming back with a topped-up glass, and needing to use the bathrooms again in a never-ending cycle.
I’m not going to say ‘you should learn to hold it’ because if you need to go, you need to go, and it only takes a few moments to shuffle out of your row, a momentary inconvenience for your seat neighbours. But if you’re doing it repeatedly while you sink a bottle of Pinot Grigio, maybe you’re the problem.
Look, I get it. The theatre is exciting. It’s live, it’s immersive, and it can make you feel things you weren’t expecting. But part of the magic only works if we all play our part, and that means remembering we’re not watching alone.
Whether you’re at a Shakespearean tragedy, a West End musical, or a fringe play in a room above a pub, the same rule applies: don’t be the person people talk about on the way home for all the wrong reasons.
So next time you take your seat and the lights go down, take a deep breath, switch off your phone, and let the story do the singing.
