3
PARENTS know that after a stern talking-to, kids often insist they’ll change their behavior and listen next time.
And, of course, the moment “next time” arrives, all that advice goes right out the window.
3
One child development expert revealed the perfect time of day to tell off your kids, and when you use this strategy, they’ll actually remember your lectures.
Kristin Brady, director at Cobble Hill Playschool, holds a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education, and she told PureWow that important talks should happen during a specific routine.
“A parent has two goals when their child is doing something that is not OK: First, stop the behavior,” Brady told the outlet.
That’s the part you do in the moment, whether it’s grabbing your child before they cross the street alone or getting their attention before they touch a hot stove.
When the environment is right, it’s time for the second step: “Second, reach a shared understanding with their child about what was going on and why it wasn’t OK,” Brady continued.
She recommends talking to your child at bath time, when you’re together in a calm, soothing environment and can really focus.
“Bathtime can be a magic time for addressing tricky topics,” Brady said.
“It’s typically when there is just one activity happening, no TV or iPads and lots of undivided attention.”
Your focus during the conversation should be on explaining why the behavior wasn’t OK, without making your child feel ashamed or guilty.
Brady said that “remembering” the event with your child is a great opener.
For example, imagine a scenario where your child played rough with a family pet and was scratched.
While your kid is in the tub, open up the conversation. You could ask, “Do you remember earlier today, when you pulled the cat’s tail?”
Encourage your child to share their point of view.
Having an understanding of their wants and needs will help you set a boundary.
Communicate the boundary clearly, and make sure your child has a sense of agency.
“I know you love the kitty because she’s part of our family. She was scared when you pulled on her tail, and she scratched you,” you could explain.
“Now you know not to do that! I’m going to trust you to be gentle with her, and keep both of you safe.”
Obviously, this isn’t applicable advice if your child hates the bathtub, but any similar, calming environment will suffice. A peaceful drive or quiet playtime at a sensory table can work.
Remember not to have a “serious talk” every time your child takes a bath. Over-emphasizing discipline and consequences could lead to your child becoming anxious at bath time and dreading the routine.
3
