Ruby Wax was left reeling after inadvertently becoming somewhat of a poster girl for mental illness.
The British-American actress and comedian, 71, has never shied away from vocalising her struggles with mental health, as she lives with bipolar and depression.
Ruby successfully managed both with medication for 12 years but relapsed while staying at a monastery in 2022, which left her thinking she was possessed by the devil.
It was then she voluntarily admitted herself to a psychiatric clinic for five weeks, relying on both professionals and her family — she is married to Ed Bye and has two children — to pull her through.
Fast forward to now and Ruby is drawing on her experiences, good and bad, as she returns to the West End with a one-woman show shining a spotlight on the dark moments.
Laced with humour and based on her best-selling book of the same name, I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was recalls the series of life-changing journeys Ruby undertook in pursuit of meaning, from swimming with humpback whales to embarking on a 30-day silent retreat and even joining a Christian monastery.
She then candidly delves into her tumultuous mental health journey, warts and all.
But while she’s now more than willing to be honest and vulnerable, there was a time when Ruby feared losing everything should anyone learn the truth.
Speaking exclusively to Metro.co.uk, the TV star explains what inspires her to be a voice for mental health and reminisces on her earlier work with Comic Relief, who used her image on a confronting poster in Tube stations.
‘I was scared I would be fired if anybody found out that I had a problem,’ she confesses during an interview inside a hotel room in Oxford, her nails instantly a focal point having been painted all colours of the rainbow.
‘Comic Relief put a poster of me up in Tube stations that said, “1 in 4 people have mental illness, 1 in 5 people have dandruff. I have both.”
‘I was so mortified that they outed me.’
From there, Ruby put pen to paper and vowed to ‘speak for the people who could never speak before’.
As she acknowledges her material is ‘very funny’, Ruby also notes it has a ‘darker message’, standing on stage each night baring her soul in a ‘mental striptease’ while recounting her quest for ‘peace’.
A key aspect of her live performances is a sense of togetherness, as the writer invites audience members to connect during a Q&A, hyper-aware that she’s far from alone in what she’s been through.
‘I think the audience does say, “Oh, yeah… that would be me too.” Even if you’ve not got a mental illness, you are fragile. We live in a frazzled culture, and everybody feels in a high state of fear, and we want out.
‘Yet it keeps pulling you back because we still live with unresolved issues. There is a high degree of loneliness and a high degree of not looking at who we really… are because who has time?
‘We have these fantasies that we’ll find happiness if only we “get”, you know? And advertisers know how to tickle that nerve. We think, if I just have that, if I just find this place, if I just do these extreme things… of course, it’s an illusion.’
Don’t get it twisted, though — Ruby’s theatre shows aren’t counselling sessions.
‘It’s not a b****ing session; it’s not therapy; it’s not the news… it’s just asking, “What’s the weather condition like inside your brain?”‘
She adds that the courage of strangers sharing their situations with her can be an ’emotional experience’, making it all the more affirming when feedback from fans is positive.
‘If they meet me after the show, I love it. I just love the way people talk to me. They’re not saying, “Oh, I liked you in show business.” They’re saying, “Thanks a lot for writing some of your books because I felt really helpless.” That’s a real reward.’
Despite being a positive force for change in the mental health community, Ruby, who has been a regular on British TV since the 1980s, wants the world to know that she has plenty of other stories to tell.
Oh, and she’d much prefer it if you didn’t perceive her as a ‘whiner’.
Instead, appreciate the comedy, enjoy a laugh, and know that she certainly doesn’t consider it ‘cathartic’ to be on stage.
‘The show is not about mental health or any of that,’ she declares. ‘To me, that’s a lecture.
‘If you can make somebody laugh, then you can give them any message because you deserve their attention. You deserve to be taken seriously.
‘You know people who get up and say, “Poor me?” I don’t want to see that show.So for every 20 amusing lines, I try to sneak one in that’s truthful.’
Ruby, who first rose to prominence as a comic interviewer, makes her hotly anticipated West End return in the Ambassadors Theatre for a two-week run this September after more than 40 sold-out shows during her nationwide tour.
The quick-witted showbiz icon (and self-proclaimed Married At First Sight obsessive) is keen to make a lasting impression on those who attend, predicting memorable moments ahead.
‘I like to make a really big imprint rather than have people say, “That was shallow.”
‘I think it’s going to be another really powerful run of shows.’
Ruby Wax’s acclaimed comedy show, I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was, returns to the West End at the Ambassadors Theatre from September 16 to 28.
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