THE arrival of a new baby is the happiest of announcements – but what if you have kept the entire pregnancy a secret?
Last week, singer Nicole Appleton shared a snap of Skipper, her baby girl by Facebook millionaire boyfriend Stephen Haines, after keeping her pregnancy secret from all her friends. Here, Sun writer Georgette Culley, who is mum to four-month-old Jude, explains how difficult it was to keep her surprise news under wraps.
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“WTF I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, let alone a baby!” screamed a friend when I finally announced my surprise news on Instagram.
Like Nicole Appleton, I hid my pregnancy for nine months and know exactly how it feels to finally reveal the truth.
“It was SOOOOO difficult keeping her a secret from all my friends . . . ” Nicole wrote under a pic of her newborn daughter Skipper this week. “But I can finally announce our incredible news!!”
The 45-year-old singer is not the only celebrity to keep her pregnancy under wraps. Kylie Jenner went into hiding for nine months before the birth of her daughter Stormi, now two.
Alesha Dixon reached the six-month mark before announcing her pregnancy with daughter Azura, now six, and five months with Anaya, five months.
And Anna Kournikova and partner Enrique Iglesias secretly had their third child, a girl, in January.
We will never know their reasons for keeping schtum.
Fear and anxiety
For me it was a combination of being in a fairly new relationship, the fear of something going wrong during the pregnancy and anxiety about being treated differently by my peers.
Looking back, I often wonder why I cared so much. And let me tell you, it was hard work hiding morning sickness, an expanding waistline and my growing boobs.
Every time I “liked” a pregnant friend’s scan, bump or gender reveal post on Instagram, I felt like a fraud.
When I first discovered my “condition” I was in shock. I was working abroad as a reporter in Gambia when I realised my period was late.
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Even though my boobs felt a little tender and I’d been feeling quite nauseous it never crossed my mind that I might be pregnant.
My colleague who I had travelled with persuaded me to get a pregnancy test, and I couldn’t believe it when that faint blue line appeared. “Don’t tell anyone,” I whispered sheepishly to my colleague. But by that point I’d only been with my partner Ollie a few months. What would people say?
We’d not even met each other’s parents. Plus, like many pregnant women, I was on edge for those first few months. You can’t help thinking about miscarriage or whether the baby will be OK. Then there was work — most of my colleagues didn’t even know I had a boyfriend.
I decided to keep my big news a secret. Once back in the UK, I told my nearest and dearest — my boyfriend, my best friend and my mum and dad. They were all thrilled.
But I held off telling the wider world. I mean, wasn’t it supposed to be tempting fate if you revealed your pregnancy before 12 weeks?
Then I decided I’d better wait until the 20-week scan before my big “reveal” — just to make sure everything was all right. The last thing I wanted was well-meaning friends giving me advice or telling me their pregnancy scare stories. What’s more, I didn’t want to be treated differently because of my “condition” at work. I was still the same person, just growing a little mini-me inside.
I spent a fortune on baggy clothes to try hide my bump.
In the weeks that followed, Asos became my saviour. My go-to dress was anything low-cut. My strategy was to distract from my ever expanding waistline with my new-found cleavage.
I spent a fortune on baggy clothes to try to hide my bump. Even though I didn’t start showing until much later, I was very self-conscious and thought people were staring at it and knew my secret.
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I also decided to give social media a wide berth — no pun intended. I just couldn’t handle the constant enquiries about my baby/boyfriend/life.
Around the four-month mark, I accompanied Ollie to his mum’s wedding. It was the first time I was going to meet her and I was keen to make a good impression. Fortunately I still wasn’t showing much, so I wore a carefully chosen outfit, and no one seemed to notice. But I was having an off day and felt nauseous the whole time. As my partner introduced me to his family, I told him I had to be sick and ran off to the ladies.
By early afternoon I was exhausted and escaped upstairs for a nap, but when I awoke, two hours had passed by.
“Uncle Clive thinks you’ve got some sort of embarrassing health problem,” laughed Ollie. “Why don’t we just tell them the truth? You’re past four months now.”
“No,” I said firmly, “After all, it’s their big day, not mine.”
Feeling nauseous
A few weeks later, I was at a friend’s 30th birthday party and kept buying the rounds so I could sneakily order soda water and lime and pass it off as vodka.
But nausea got the better of me and I ran to the loos to puke up. A bouncer caught me and marched me to the exit, thinking I was drunk.
After that, I decided to avoid as many social events as possible. If I posted anything on social media it was always of someone else or a pretty place I’d visited.
By five months I started to look a bit bloated, but as a coeliac I conveniently blamed it on the gluten in a pesky baguette every time a friend’s eyes darted to my tum.
By now, I desperately wanted to share my exciting news but I’d left it so long I didn’t know how. I decided to “come clean” to my boss.
As a reporter, there were certain jobs I could no longer do and I needed him to know why. He was shocked, but very supportive. I kicked myself for not telling work sooner.
In November I gave birth to a healthy and happy boy, Jude. When I held him in my arms for the first time I felt overwhelming love for him. He was perfect.
Looking back, my life would have been a lot easier had I just told people while I was pregnant.
But I don’t regret it, as when Jude arrived, I really enjoyed our special time with him without being hassled for pics by friends.
I’ve never done anything by the book so why change a habit of a lifetime? I’m sure some friends secretly judged me or gossiped about it but no one said anything to me.
Jude is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wouldn’t change a thing.
