Michele Quinn, 35
My ex, Colin, and I were separated but on reasonable terms and more like friends. The children were our first priority and we were managing to get along and care for them when he died in a fire. It came as a terrible shock; it floored me, especially seeing the children mourning for him.
That was 12 years ago. Jack, 12, has grown up to look like Colin, but can’t remember him – he’s finding that hard to deal with. Cairn, the eldest, is 15. He is more practical and just gets on with life, while Kiera is the most emotional; it still breaks her heart that she doesn’t have her father. She visits his grave and hates the way everyone assumes you have a dad.
It was a huge, dramatic change to me, suddenly being totally responsible for them and dealing with their grief and mine. I came very close to a breakdown: Gingerbread, the single parents’ organisation, saved me.
Kiera, 14
I don’t remember Dad well as I was only three when he died. It helps having my brothers as we all support each other. I wish he was here to see how his three kids have grown up – he missed out on all of our plays and school stuff.
I so wish that he could see me do what I’ve always loved doing – playing football. It was hard not having him on Father’s Day but when all the other kids were making cards for their dads, we made one for Mum.
I try to talk about my feelings: if I block them up I get very emotional and cry every time I hear my dad’s name mentioned.
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