Older couples ‘living apart but together’ have better wellbeing, scientists say

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Older couples who meet at 60 and above seem to have better well-being when they “live apart but together” instead of cohabiting, according to a new study.

The research, which is the largest of its kind but is still to be published, analysed data from the UK Household Longitudinal Study covering 40,000 households or nearly 100,000 individuals. Researchers tracked from this group people aged 60 and above, their relationships and their mental health between 2011 and 2023.

They specifically looked at how their mental health varied with singlehood, marriage, cohabitation, and “living apart, together” or LAT.

They then looked at how transitions into and out of LAT, compared to marriage and cohabitation, related to the mental health of the older adults.

While LAT in younger people exists mainly because they cannot afford a house, researchers found it is a “long-term arrangement” for older adults.

In the UK, the survey found that LAT prevalence among older adults is 3–4 per cent, comparable to that in other Western nations such as the US, Netherlands and Canada.

“For single older women, entering LAT is 10 times more likely than marriage or cohabitation, and it is nearly 10 times more likely than marriage and about 20 times more likely than cohabitation for older men,” the study said.

Researchers found that older adults appear to have better mental health when they are living apart but together than when they are single.

Though finding a partner offers slightly better mental health benefits for people aged 60 and above, researchers said that there may be fewer mental health risks from a LAT breakup than from a divorce or from the ending of cohabitation.

“Exiting LAT is associated with smaller mental health declines compared to exiting cohabitation and marriage,” they said.

Both older men and women seem to enjoy similar mental health benefits in this case, the study noted.

“While older singles moving into LAT experience mental health improvements, those moving from LAT to singlehood suffer mental health declines.”

The findings, researchers said, underscore LAT as a key “gender-egalitarian” form of family union in later life.

The research also reaffirms prior evidence that men appear to benefit more than women from marriage in terms of mental health.

The study calls for further research examining patterns of relationships among older adults.